User:Lastpatriot

The Man:

Lastpatriot is a level 34 or "Icon" on the GameFAQs boards, an icon few outside the TPSB, and verily, some inside the TPSB, have never quite heard of.

His appearance is subject to some disagreement (According to those who have seen him), but most people will say that LP is about 6 feet tall, about 145 pounds, with black eyes, black hair, and the general build of a Greek kouros statue.

Despite his racist tendencies in the past, most people will say that he's mellowed out now, and that he's actually a very nice person (eh, nice?) once you get past the utter lack of social skills. I guess going through high school will do that to ya...

What he does:

Lastpatriot has an annoying tendency to talk in 3rd person(you thought somebody else wrote this?) and phonetically write oot accents(such as Canadian, Scottish, Russian, French, etc.). He is also a giant video game wanker, who can somehow pull off not being particularly good at video games, but knowing more about them then any healthy person should. He's largely known for having an unhealthy man love for both the Japanese comic book series Berserk, and cult/B-Movies that most people try to forget, as well as talking endlessly about some stupid sprite comic which will never get off the ground. That's what happens when your comic stars a drunk opossum. That sprite comic, in fact, did not get off the ground. Most people have tried to forget about it.

LP is laughably known for having no social life whatsoever, instead preferring to play with swords, watch crappy 80s/early 90s action movies which nobody has ever heard of, play video games nobody has ever heard of, play the saxophone, or go running in forests. He likes to tell a story about how he once saved a "damsel in distress", only to find out that it was, in fact, a guy. It has been rumored that Lastpatriot is a closeted furry. He maintains that...certain characters of...certain 1990s animated television shows transcend the furry border and are quite acceptable to be found attractive.

Mr. Patriot would like to take this opportunity to challenge anybody reading to a "pop-culture off", the likes of which cause cataclysmic destruction only equaled by the effects of throwing turtles at banjos. If you wish to partake in this epic duel, which separates men from boys, you can instant message LP at Adol Crystin (AOL Instant Messenger) or hugeguts@hotmail.com (MSN)

He also refers to some ASCII game called "ADOM" as "Digital rape". Oddly, he seems to welcome this, as long as he gets a pack of cigarettes or a couple of spoons out of it.

Other random crap:

Lastpatriot maintains that Street Fighter: The Movie is one of the greatest things ever to be put on celluloid.

Rather than get an actual job post-college, LP has stated numerous times that he wishes to wander the Earth for a while, living off the land, ala Cain from Kung Fu.

Every time LP changes a light bulb, he breaks the used bulb on a hard surface, puts on a creepy smile, and says "Wakey Wakey, Burke! It's time to bleed!". As to who Burke is, and whether or not it is, indeed, time to bleed, only LP knows. Well, him and other fans of B movies.

This was also the original Wiki page for LP, before it was edited.

Links:

www.thewashers.com Just kidding, it doesn't exist.

www.priyarai.com Not related, but damn, is she hot.